I don't know...why don't we ask the Feminists? After all, they appear to be the only group capable of pulling this off, and what's worse, they do so not only without punishment, but with the blessing of the community-a community that seems only all too happy to waste time and resources responding to every false alarm, and then goes on to aid and abet these rank offenders by playing "Let's Pretend" with the wolves!

Don't believe me? That's OK-I assure you that your disbelief is painfully temporary.

My first encounter with this feminist version of "Crying Wolf" was in high school. Now if I remember correctly, the Anti-Man "scare tactic du jour" was something like, "Every six seconds a woman in this country is raped and/or beaten."

Their plan worked on me...for about 10 specious seconds. Being female I was initially terrified-the type of reaction these of the "kinder, gentler sex" depend upon to trigger a fear response and render you temporarily vulnerable and retarded!--but only briefly. Then my penchant for logic and reason kicked in, and I thought, Wait a minute...how many seconds are in a year, and how many women are in this country?

Even at the age of 16 I could smell the stink of this hysterical stat. Feminists had been getting on my nerves since my childhood in the 1970's, but with the confidence of America's newly-found 1980's wonder I liked to call "Garden of Reagan" (sigh!), I was newly empowered-not by shrill feminists with bad haircuts, but by a magnificent man old enough to be my grandfather-and his hair looked awesome!

I may have been young, but I knew a lie when it shut down my nervous system!

I grabbed a machine that could dismantle the lie without the inane coloring of female histrionics-a calculator. Following the example of the education system in America in which most feminists have been indoctrinated...er, I mean...raised, I will make this absurdly simple. Surely even Gloria Steinem could follow this one! After all, I was only a 16 year old girl, not even through high school. If I could figure this out in a few minutes, these college-educated Wellsley types could...

Crap. Logic...that fatal flaw in any plan involving these Political Castrators on their Death March to Matriarchal Rule.

Oh well. I pushed on, undaunted. After all, according to the "No Bras!" (and no need!) group, my virtue was at stake!

OK, a simple formula led me to find out that there are 31,536,000 seconds in a year-60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year.

Still with me, girls?

Given their own figures of one rape every six seconds, that meant there had to be 600 rapes an hour, 14,400 rapes a day, and 5,256,000 rapes a year, every year.

At the time, there were about 150,000,000 women in America.

Given that the average life expectancy of the American female at the time was 75, I figured I had about another 60 years of life left here on earth. As one of those 150,000,000 women in America, I was trying to figure out how many times in my life I could expect to be violated.

So far I had apparently been incredibly lucky-I hadn't been raped once! Whew! 16 years down...60 to go. If you exclude the notion that it would be the same 5,256,000 women raped every year, then the odds were that at some point, I would be one of the 5 million...but when and how many times in my lifetime could I expect to become this statistic?

5.2 million rapes into a populace of 150 million women spread out over 75 years meant that I stood the chance of being raped at least 2.5 times in my life.

Holy Mathematical Equations, Batman!

My rosy plans for the future suddenly looked ominous, and I thought, How am I supposed to work and plan and live and have children and go places knowing that at any moment I could be pounced upon and assaulted? Now every man was painted as a potential abuser, not a friend, lover, or spouse, and the momentary panic was almost crippling. I felt fearful and angry, and wanted to start shaking my fist at those in power demanding that they "do something!" about this terrible evil! After all, I was the potential victim here...I must be defended!

Victim.

Then I realized that was exactly how these Lying Lefties wanted me to feel. They are the ones who have shoved the Victim Status of all Double X-types like me down my throat since I sprang forth in pubescent splendor, as if having large breasts and a pretty face were somehow a symbol of terrible evil yet to come. If I tried to question their numbers or outright deny them, I was labeled with names that through the Political Castration of the education process left me too fearful of recrimination to protest. After all, nothing pisses chicks off more than an ambitious, driven, and securely attractive female who relies on logic, reason, and her own ambition rather than the mob-think of their Mommy Mafia "Bow before my all-powerful Ovaries you male dogs!" mentality.

OK, now for that Feminist Killjoy--reality. According to the US Census Bureau, the number of rapes-both forced and attempted-for the year 1980 (a full two years before the "every 6 seconds" EMD--Emblem of Mass Deception) were 82,990. That is tremendously below the 5.2 million annual rapes they were claiming in 1982. These figures drastically lowered my chances of rape, and the continuous Political Castration of the American male has made it even less so.

Surely these Female Stalins knew that their numbers were horribly skewed, and even outright lies. But they had the advantage that the truth didn't; they had the media on their side. Not once did I hear any major news organization reveal the real number-83,000-over the hysterical "every six second" stat put forth by these angry and-frankly--butt-ugly women bent on making the world pay dearly for their short-comings. FOX News, where were you when we really needed you?

So the few cried wolf, and the many jerked their knees, stormed the hills, and in spite of seeing the lie with their own eyes, played along with the demented game, because they dared not do so and bear the brunt of the hysterical rage and accusations of the liars.

It has been 20 years of madness, and it's time to stop it. Villagers, how about we grow a pair and stop heeding the false cries of "Wolf!" Leave this petulant child to her doom...and we all know what happened to her. Men do not go around like salivating beasts waiting to pounce upon the first fair-haired maiden they can find, and women, you damned well know it. The Feminist Lies and their Iron Fisted Rule is imploding, and I for one say, "About Damned Time!"

Femmies...the wolves await you.

Keep the faith, bros, and in all things courage.

Published originally at EtherZone.com : republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact.