The following article is a slightly revised version of the original which was first written and published over 10 years ago shortly after I had emerged (in September of 1992) from a 5-year stint in jail and psychiatric prison. It was conceived mostly as an extended bibliographical essay, with some autobiographical elements thrown in, under the overarching rubric of a kind of “General Address to the Anti-Psychiatry Movement” (such as it was, back then). Somewhat unwieldy, amateurish and rough-hewn-- I realize now, in retrospect --these “reflections” nevertheless enjoyed a fairly widespread “unofficial” circulation, and were felt by many to have some merit, or at least the kernels of some significant or relevant thoughts. Looking back, I think they might have some enduring value as a kind of unique concatenation of intellectual influences and real-life experience that could be useful as a reference-guide to others. I know this initial exploratory template-of-sorts served me well as a time-binding summary update from which to pre-capitulate much more fruitful work over the years ahead. And I believe much of the subject matter is still as timely as ever.

-- B.F. (Feb., ’05)

Since the psychiatric establishment is in the habit of coming up with a new cure-all drug which isn’t really very toxic, has few known (yet) side-effects, and which will finally treat that disease-- mental “illness” --at its biochemical core (a veritable “magic bullet”) every six months or so, I thought it incumbent upon those of us in the anti-psychiatry underground to also get into the habit of proclaiming our own alternative “cure to end all cures”…every six months or so. While they can claim the mantle of modernity and the best that reason engrossed in materialism have to offer, we can find solace in the ancient wisdom and sure knowledge that God is truly on our side. Then we’ll just see who loses credibility first.

Seriously though, the truth is that the Psycho-Pharmaceutical Complex, with its billions of vested interest dollars in drug company profits and well-salaried bureaucrat-professionals, is nowhere nearer a real cure to what is called “schizophrenia” than it was back in the 1950s when “chemical lobotomies” were first hailed as a “humanistic” advance over the real thing. These aficionados cling ever more desperately to the Big Lie of their “progress” myth while the dying edifice of their teetering Medical Model lurches forward threatened with imminent extinction. Whole careers dedicated to mindless conformity to institutionalized malpractice hang in the balance, while the rotting structure is mercilessly exposed by a few valiant outsiders like Szasz, Mancuso, Breggin and Farber [1]. Even the hapless victims of psychiatry’s coercive interventions have begun to realize that The Emperor truly has “no clothes”-- and that behind all the pseudo-scientific posturing lies an empty shell of bold-faced ignorance, which will collapse in the wake of even cursory intellectual inquiry. The crux of the problem is that orthodox psychiatry has been stuck, for decades now, in a totally outmoded worldview, spinning its wheels and looking for answers in all the wrong places, because of the error of attempting to treat at a materialistic level a problem which is fundamentally nonmaterial. The good news is that genuine cutting-edge science is proving that it is no longer meaningful to talk about existence-in-general-- and subjective mental reality, in particular --exclusively in terms of nothing but discrete/quantifiable categories of matter (see, for instance, The Matter Myth [2], by Paul Davies and John Gribbin). The work of such once-obscure philosophers as Max Stirner [3] and Bishop Berkeley[4] on the primary reality of the Creative Ideal (or no-“thing”) is being vindicated and the confluence of the occult and the scientific is being realized more and more every day (see especially, Michael Talbot’s Mysticism and The New Physics[5]). Indeed, we stand on the brink of a societal paradigm shift of monumental proportions that will sweep orthodox psychiatry (“biopsychiatry”) in its wake, confining it appropriately-- and at last! --to the dustbin of history.

As I pointed out in my review of Seth Farber’s Madness, Heresy, and the Rumor of Angels:The Revolt against the Mental Health System[6], our main anti-psychiatric line of attack must emphasize the bioenergetic/spiritualistic in contradistinction to the biochemical/materialistic. We need to have an answer to the question: “Well, what would you do to replace drugging?” And the fact is that numerous effective alternative treatment modalities exist, but they are almost universally shunned by the psychiatric establishment which claims an exclusively superior know-how based on its grounding in-- or tie to --physiological medicine. Actually, however, this pretense of expertise is an elaborate farce which can only maintain its status through the restrictive trade practice of deliberately selective coercive exclusion (“barriers to entry”) via governmental medical licensure. And, as with all monopolies, the structure is designed to bilk the maximum amount of money out of the public while providing the least amount of product/service and, at the same time, benefiting a privileged few. This State-granted largesse is jealously guarded for, without it, they would have to share the wealth with an abundant array of alternative health care practitioners providing vastly more services at greatly reduced cost. As things stand, psychiatry has taken the predictably easy (“cost-effective” for them) way out which entails drugging the patient, patting them on the head, and sending them on their way. If the patient recovers from their temporary irrationality-- which is often achieved independently and spontaneously by the individual simply having some time and space to re-orient their thinking --then the drug has “worked” and they have responded well to “treatment”. If not, then it is simply the etiology of the “disease” which is deemed chronic, lifelong and incurable. Never mind the fact that in cases of enduring “illness” no attempt whatever has been made to deal with symptoms at a cognitive level. That would involve “talk-therapy” and bodywork and genuine transformations on an ideational-energetic level. It would mean that psychiatrists would have to get their hands dirty, acquire some real psychological skills, and be able to shake free from their chauvinistic allegiance to consensus reality-tunnels so as to empathize with the meaningfulness of the alternative realities which are often part and parcel of the “schizophrenic’s” evolutionary growth process. To act as a guide to-- and facilitator of --a new plateau of coherence, should be the goal.

One of the most promising therapeutic approaches that I endorse, with reservations, is the bioenergetics of psychiatrist, Alexander Lowen. Lowen was a major disciple and interpreter of Wilhelm Reich who built a considerable arsenal of efficacious technique and theory which has had an enduring impact. The necessary rehabilitation of psychiatrists who need to “get off drugs” will have come a long way when the essence of Lowen is incorporated into mainstream practice. It wouldn’t hurt either to re-affirm the validity of Reich’s seminal contribution to character analysis with his theory of “armoring” in the musculature of the body. That the road to mental health lies along the path of integrating the ideational-energetic contents of the body into conscious awareness, is now beyond dispute.

The definitive sourcebook of Lowen’s therapy is Bioenergetics [7], billed on the cover as “the revolutionary therapy that uses the language of the body to heal the problems of the mind”. Therein, Lowen recollects his relationship to Reich, delineates his personality typology, and outlines his therapeutic orientation with applications to a variety of subjects and case studies. His therapy is a variant of Westernized Yoga involving physical and breathing exercises with some massage work. At its core is the appealing concept of cultivating an “open heart”. This sounds simplistic, I know, but a full realization of his meaning entails considerable unpacking. In general, Lowen’s analytical tools represent a useful addition to any psychiatrist’s repertory, however, I fear he would relegate all saints and holy men to the ranks of psychopathic power-trippers—who were “in denial” (of course, of course) of their REAL needs. Which brings me to my main bone of contention with-- and point of dissension from --Lowen/ Reich : their theory of sex. Lowen buys into Reich’s axiom that “orgastic potency” defines mental health. The notion is that sexual release and discharge breaks down characterological armoring and causes a diminution of tension in the musculature. I would argue, on the contrary, that sexual release causes a weakening of bioenergetic integrity and a consequent reinforcing and reimposition of the armored character structure. As unfashionable as it may sound, I am in essential agreement with the 19^th Century alienists (the precursors of modern psychiatry) who taught that excessive sex leads to mental and emotional instability and neurosis. I believe, in fact, that Reich’s views on sex-- which were a hold-over from Freud’s reduction of spirituality to sexuality –contributed significantly to his own experience of madness towards the end of his career. Specifically, while he had many intimations of the evolutionarily advanced dimensions of consciousness circuitry (as Leary would say), he was held back by his sexual hang-DOWN to old energy patterns which were in conflict with emergent realities. As Leary would also say, “pathology precedes potential”[8]. Or, as Shakti Gawain expresses it in The Path of Transformation [9], all “healing crisis” appear when we have outgrown an old pattern, or way of being, but are still unconsciously holding on to it. But to return more precisely to the subject at hand, I advocate the Catholic orthodoxy of the East Indian practice of brahmacharya [10]. And I think we all would all be well-advised to heed the words of Thoreau who wrote:

“ ‘A command over our passions and over the external senses of the body, and good acts, are declared by the Ved to be indispensable in the mind’s approximation to God.’ Yet the spirit can for the time pervade and control every member and function of the body, and transmute what in form is the grossest sensuality into purity and devotion. The generative energy, which, when we are loose, dissipates and makes us unclean, when we are continent invigorates and inspires us. Chastity is the flowering of man; and what are called Genius, Heroism, Holiness, and the like, are but various fruits which succeed it. By turns our purity inspires and our impurity casts us down. He is blessed who is assured that the animal is dying out in him day by day, and the divine being established.”[11]

For those interested in a more extensive exposition of the philosophy of the conservation and transmutation of reproductive energy, I refer you to the masterful treatment of C.J. Van Vliet in The Coiled Serpent [12]. He is especially good around refuting notions of the pleasure principle and the alleged necessity of sex for health. Another volume along the same lines, which is more widely available, is Mahatma Gandhi’s Self-restraint v. Self-indulgence [13].

My second nominee for the title of “Mental Health Expert of the Century” is the indomitable Tim Leary. This Eminent Emissary of Evolutionary Mind, Higher Consciousness and Intelligence Agent par excellence has done pioneering work which will still be being talked about for many centuries to come. His shining example of courage in the face of adversity was also an especial inspiration to me during those potentially dark days when I was confined to “the hole” for six months [14]. But his legacy will go far beyond mere Media Myth and the celebrity status of a momentary counter-cultural guru. For there is a substantive scientific theoretical and factual basis for his brain-change technology, and this has many implications for the mental health field. Paradoxical as this may sound coming from one who shares Peter Breggin‘s abhorrence of neuroleptic drugs (see Toxic Psychiatry, footnote No. 1)-- especially when they are used to induce “chemical lobotomies” or an institutionally-friendly genial stupor --I am not at all opposed to the use of all drugs to treat “mental illnesss”. Nor is this a concession to the Medical Model or the alleged biochemical basis of “the disease”. Instead, what I submit is that psychedelic drugs have the proven potential to radically alter the mind and behavior-- in the direction of mental health --via “metaprogramming the human biocomputer” (in John Lilly’s phrase) through serial imprinting of the brain. Furthermore-- and here I don’t know how much Leary would be in agreement with me --I would want to claim that the relevant change induced, that comes about by a release of energy and transformation of extant patterns (what’s usually referred to as the creation of new “neural pathways”), represents not only-- or even fundamentally --static inscription or encoding that is quantitatively identifiable at a discrete molecular level of any given neuron. Indeed we know that all the atoms and molecules of one’s anatomy are totally changed every year or so—yet the “Self”, intellect and memory, remains. Again, science continues to confirm the non-material nature of consciousness, with the most efficacious model of the mind being based on a holograph that stores information “non-locally” (see especially, Michael Talbot’s chapter, “A Holographic Model of Consciousness”, in Mysticism and the New Physics [footnote No. 5]).

Unfortunately the radical beneficial therapeutic potential of psychedelics was stymied by ignorant and reactionary statism. And we are still living in the legal limbo of drug prohibition. But, as Robert Anton Wilson says, what else would you expect on “the planet of the apes”? [15] For an account of Leary’s early experiments with psilocybin and prisoners, the dramatic success in reducing the recidivism rate, and much else pertinent to the broader implications of his work, see: Changing My Mind, Among Others [16]. And, for many of the other brilliant books he has written since he got out of jail, contact: New Falcon Publications (www.newfalcon.com).

The third co-conspirator I want to discuss has been propelled into well-deserved celebrity status of late and bids fair to be the catalyst for major changes in the way we view modern medicine, including mental health: I speak of Deepak Chopra. Chopra is a medical doctor, practicing in the U.S., who combines the best teachings of East Indian Philosophy with the latest findings of quantum physics to come up with a unique approach to health that is part revelation and part inspiration. His journey to stardom began when he quit his post as head of a major Boston hospital, returned to his native India, and hooked up with the ancient healing tradition known as Ayurveda. He also connected with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and started practicing TM. Upon returning to the U.S., he set up a special clinic in Lancaster, Mass., devoted to Ayurveda and during this last year he has established centers affiliated with a major hospital chain. For a number of years he was thought of in New Age circles as merely “the Maharishi’s medicine man” but that, too, has changed as he has grown in stature. He has now officially disassociated himself from the TM Movement-- mainly due to their lack of credibility when it comes to making extravagant claims about being able to teach people how to levitate and walk through walls, etc. --although he remains on amiable terms with the Maharishi.

Summarizing Chopra’s theoretical orientation here is beyond my capacity, as I have only read a couple or three of his books, however, from all that I know of it, he seems to be in perfect sync with the dominant direction of anti-psychiatry. He quite frankly embraces Spirit-- and I think we should too --but he does not rely on sentimental belief. Rather he grounds his gnosis in hard science. He recommends, for instance, God and the New Physics [17] by Paul Davies and quotes, with favor, the great English astronomer, Sir Arthur Eddington, who stated flatly that the raw material of the whole universe is “mind-stuff”. He concretizes conceptually the quantum realm and, in his book, Quantum Healing—Exploring The Frontiers of Mind/Body Medicine [18], he points the way to accessing “the gap” between normal waking awareness and the Deep Self where there is abundant energy and intelligence. He notes, insightfully, that “the first thing to understand is that you are not a human being having occasional spiritual experiences but a spiritual being having occasional human experiences”. Then, in another small and delightful book called Creating Affluence—Wealth Consciousness in the Field of All Possibilities [19], Chopra relates how the Maharishi asked a number of physicists to characterize the Einsteinian unified field. Among other things, they said that at the most basic sub-atomic particle level all that exists is energy and information—and that it is living. It could also be characterized as sheer potential. In sum, the universe is alive and thinking [20]. Can you dig it?!

This last correlates perfectly with my own experience of “god-consciousness” which I achieved via the full awakening of kundalini at the age of 22 back in 1973. The story is worth recounting for the sake of science and for the sake of others who will one day tread the same path. It is a statistically rare occurrence (something many advanced adepts often spend a lifetime unsuccessfully trying to achieve), though not unknown in the annals of mysticism (see especially, Cosmic Consciousness [21], by the famous Canadian psychiatrist-- and noted associate of Walt Whitman --R.M. Bucke).

My step-by-step cultivation of the ability to raise kundalini began with the study of hypnosis on the recommendation of Nathaniel Branden, the prominent psychologist and onetime disciple of Ayn Rand. I practiced daily and recorded my adventures in a journal. Thus began a systematic “mental-mapping” in which I identified, among other things, numerous instances of “vegetative streamings” (Reich’s term) while in Deep Trance. The keys to my system were twofold: 1) developing the ability to focus conscious awareness narrowly-- “like a flashlight” --deep into below-the-head body regions and IDENTIFYING emotional-energetic substance on those levels, and 2) developing the ability to focus conscious awareness broadly-- to “let go” and do what I termed “dissolve” or “eat/digest” data --to INTEGRATE material normally outside of conscious awareness. I was working on Ayn Rand’s definition of reason as “the identification and integration of the data provided by man’s senses”. It’s worth noting, too, that right up to and including the time I experienced “god-consciousness” I had never even seen or heard the word “kundalini” and had no exposure to literature on the subject. I was an adamant atheist well schooled in all the philosophical arguments against God and the last thing I was seeking was a meeting with Him/Her/It.

In any case, I began to experience more and more powerful streamings and pulsations while in trance and these were accompanied more and more often by states of conscious bliss and ecstasy. The seemingly most powerful state-- that of a steady continuous stream of bioenergy from the base of my spine to my head --I labeled “Supreme Integration”. But there was to be an even higher state than this: what I now know to be the state identical with what the yogis term “Nirvikalpa Samadhi”. That is when you get to meet God face to face.

Without going into detail as to time or place, I will do my best to describe what is essentially an ineffable experience. It began, as usual, with a deep hypnotic trance. I soon experienced steady pulsations of bioenergy going up my back. These then became a solid stream moving back and forth, like a snake across the grass. Gradually the side to side motion stopped and turned into a powerful torrent flowing straight up and down. Then, suddenly, I was propelled in consciousness to the very top of my head. My mind was simultaneously expanded and I seemed to see from “beyond” and “above”. I lost all consciousness of time and had the inescapable feeling that I “knew everything”. There was also light, an effulgence of light reverberating through every aspect of my being. (This lasted fully two weeks after I “came down” from my initial god-consciousness high.) But the most phenomenal thing that occurred was my immediate and unmistakable awareness of an overwhelming and vast conscious presence stretching off in all directions to infinity. He/She/It was right there next to me and there was no room for doubt; it was in some ways like being a child again, saying your prayers, and being absolutely sure that God is there to answer them. But this was no regressive fantasy; I maintained awareness of my mature-self consciousness. One of the distinctive things I remember about this encounter with Cosmic Consciousness-- and this may seem odd to some people --was that He/She/It seemed to be laughing the whole time: God was literally “intoxicated with joy”! This must be where the Smiling Buddha Tradition comes from.

To bring this chapter to a close, be it known that I “came down” from my communion after approximately an hour or two but continued to experience the free flow of kundalini for a period of two weeks or so after this. During that time I was in an almost continuous “body of bliss” and I experienced many marvelous paranormal phenomena (of which more, another time) but eventually my condition degenerated into fairly acute psychosis. This is not an uncommon phenomena when you “do it without a guru” and has been examined in detail, notably by the author and psychiatrist, Dr. Lee Sannella, in his book Kundalini: Psychosis or Transcendence [22], among many others. In any case, I wound up spending two weeks in a psychiatric clinic, drugged into oblivious stupefaction, until I checked myself out. Luckily, the symptoms of this, my first “psychotic episode”, abated right away as soon as I threw away the neuroleptic drugs I had been told to maintain myself on for months. It was not until a couple of years later, however, that the discovery of several books on kundalini, plus going over my journal notes, allowed me to piece together what had happened to me.

Western and English-translation literature on kundalini was sparse when I first stumbled across it but has grown significantly over the years. Gopi Krishna’s many books are a good introduction to the subject—especially his The Awakening of Kundalini, Kundalini: The Evolutionary Energy in Man, and The Dawn of A New Science [23]. Also worth looking at is John White’s Kundalini, Evolution, and Enlightenment [24] and Mary Scott’s Kundalini in the Physical World [25].

Needless to say, kundalini energy has continued to be active in my total biosystem manifesting in various ways. I do not regret it’s early appearance in my life-- psychosis and all --because it has enabled me to avail myself of theoretical and experiential data outside the realm of most peoples’ awareness. And this knowledge has had-- and will continue to have --many significant applications in interpersonal dimensions. Concluding on this subject, I would have to say that it is a phenomena that Western medical science in general, and psychiatry in particular, can no longer afford to ignore.

Having outlined the work of several thinkers who have important things to say to the anti-psychiatry movement, I would like to round out the discussion with a brief analysis of my own case (of more extensive involvement with institutional psychiatry) by dint of which an extrapolation of further “breakthrough” concepts may emerge. I know I may appear inappropriately self-centered, or-- wait for it! --“narcissistic”, for offering myself up as Exhibit A like this, but then I am the subject which I know best and, if I don’t do this work, no one else will. It might just be of some help or instructive use to others. I’ll try to be brief.

My “case”, then, revolved around an incident that happened when I was working on a job-site (as a floorlayer) and got into an argument, and then a physical confrontation, with several other people. The police were called, a single officer showed up who I flagged-down, giving my statement first and stating my intention to press charges against those who had initiated the altercation. Then, while taking additional statements from the other disputants, one who had been told to stand apart separately (the individual actually responsible for the original breach of the peace) began yelling at some of his colleagues attempting to coach them with their stories. He also yelled at me. And I yelled back, but-- it should be stressed --without making any threat in word or deed. Unfortunately, however, in this emotionally charged atmosphere, this rookie police officer apparently came to the conclusion that he needed to interject violently, although all the parties were widely separated and there was no immediate obvious concern about any further altercation. He, therefore, at this point, took it upon himself to march towards me with a wild gleam in his eye and announcing “There’s nobody causing trouble here but you”. And, although I was completely passive, unarmed, and had not moved an inch from where he had asked me to stand (some 30 feet distant from the others he was interviewing, etc.), he proceeded to make a threatening butterfly-motion with his hand next to his gun in an effort to intimidate me, then flipped the button on his holster and started to draw his gun. Seeing this, I reached for an iron bar that was close to hand (on the seat of my truck) and struck him twice, effectively disarming him. Then I ran into a nearby structure and, after a brief interval, surrendered peacefully to other police who had arrived on the scene. The injuries to the policeman were not serious-- he was hospitalized for observation less than a day --but, nevertheless, I was charged with attempted murder—a charge that was later thrown out in court by a judge and reduced to aggravated assault.

The case went to pretrial and, acting on my own behalf, I presented a brief outlining the bare facts plus some related “esoteric” musings. These may have appeared somewhat irrational on the face of them, due to being composed at a time of considerable stress, though I subsequently came to view them as actually reflecting broader verities I had become aware of but simply could not articulate-- at that time --with sufficient coherence. Consequently, this document was to prove instrumental in the resolution of my case as “not guilty by reason of insanity”. But the real deciding factor was that the young policeman who had clearly violated the well-known rules of police procedure by precipitously attempting to shoot an unarmed, non-threatening man, without even stating any intention to arrest, etc., then also committed blatant perjury when describing the event and his actions to the preliminary hearing judge. And, since no other witnesses were in a position to corroborate my testimony (his action vis-à-vis drawing his gun was blocked from their view by a van, etc.), we were left with my word against his. And whose word was the State likely to accept when dealing with one of their own? So I was faced with telling the truth-- that the officer illegally threatened me (arguably committing attempted murder and assault himself while clearly not performing his duty) and pleading “not guilty” due to having acted in legitimate self-defense --which would not matter and, therefore, land me in jail doing “hard time” in the most dangerous and violent environment imaginable. Or, I could plead NGRI and do what I supposed would be the “softer”-- but probably longer --time in the Forensic System (Psychiatric Prison) where I reasoned that such endemic violence would be minimal by comparison. On the other hand, if we went the former route, all the evidence about what this young rookie policeman had done would have come out and he would have either had his employment terminated or his entire future career seriously jeopardized (regardless of what the Court did with me)—at least, so I was told. So, not wishing this young man any harm (I sincerely forgave him virtually immediately, having personally known and seen many inexperienced men “flip out” irrationally in like circumstances; I had honestly felt no malice against the man--at any time), I (we) opted for a rapprochement of sorts whereby I took the latter route and none of the true details were made a matter of public court-record. That, in a nutshell, was the bare bones of my “case”.

I see several broad lessons I have learned. First of all, taking as axiomatic the well-known New Age dictum that “you create your own reality”, it is only a brief conceptual leap to the realization that the broader manifest reality is a collective product, to a significant degree, of group consciousness (for further implications of this idea see Shakti Gawain’s , The Path of Transformation [footnote No. 9]). What Berger and Luckmann intimated in their The Social Construction of Reality [26] is true at an even more subtle, refined, level. It follows, too, that at any given time there is a competition in reality production. In short, there is a proverbial “war in heaven” with individualities and group-mind (mental and/or morphic “fields”, as biologist, Rupert Sheldrake, would say) or group-soul (as the religious philosopher, Sri Aurobindo, would say) collectivities constantly vying for minds and bodies to work through. Some will have more soul force and/or mental fortitude than others. And, as Robert Anton Wilson says in Prometheus Rising [27]: “what the thinker thinks, the prover proves”. A concrete and relevant example of this would be psychiatrists who predict that patients will relapse if they go off drugs and therefore should stay on them for life. Their whole investment in an image of themselves as having “scientific expertise” is at stake so they, and their associated colleagues, will try their best to “produce” or “manufacture” madness in any individual who rejects drugging. Similarly, the compliant individual who doesn’t know any better-- or who simply hasn’t made the necessary conceptual and energetic changes to arm himself against such depredations --will consistently produce behavior to validate the drugging thesis.

What I deduce from all of this is that my brush with the law was a socially produced phenomena due, in part, to certain reactionary forces wanting to shut me up verbally and/or physically and due, in part, to internal forces in conflict over the need to grow and change. In a broader dimension, I was conscious of having an ongoing dialogue with a group-mind aspect of the Collective Consciousness. Seen in their proper context, then, my more esoteric writings that seemed “objectively” irrational-- and the perceptions they were based on --were not inaccurate in the least. In short, at no time was I “delusional”.

An interesting aspect of my total encounter with psychiatry was my assessment by one court-appointed doctor (who shall remain nameless) and his subsequent trial-testimony. In the course of my first interview with him he learned that I was a “known-killer”, a committed anarchist who would not scruple at exercising his British Common Law right to “take the law into his own hands” to see that justice was done, and a kundalini-adept who had had a previous psychotic episode. And, apparently, this combination summed in his mind to my being something very akin to the veritable Anti-Christ! The “killer” stigma relates to the fact that I was forced to kill my father in the course of intervening in a violent domestic dispute between he and my mother when I was 17 years old. It was a tragic incident (he was extremely drunk and out-of-control due to a long-standing [many years] situation of daily discord and scenes with my mother having come to a head with his just learning that she had finally initiated divorce proceedings against him), a clear case of legitimate self-defense (after getting my siblings to safety at the neighbors, I returned to find the circumstance whereby, to quote the presiding judge at the later inquiry: “I am accepting the evidence that…his mother, might [have been] killed; I am prepared to accept this as…a real and substantial probability and not in the slightest way an imaginary or fanciful fear”—whereupon I was attacked and, after retreating over the course of a lengthy distance, responded with necessary force only when there was no alternative [this is also clearly stated in the judge’s findings]), and I was fully acquitted of a manslaughter charge which was brought mainly as a mere formality to bring out the facts. (Incredibly, I was to learn in later years that the major interpretive rendition passed along to posterity via local “social gossip”[as to why this event occurred] was that this violent scene supposedly had something to do with some conflict with myself and my father over my-- again supposedly --having been “made to play hockey” as a youth—which was averred to have turned me into an inordinately violent young man. This was total B.S., but it apparently served to shield The Familial Collective Consensus from focusing on the pretty horrific husband/wife strife ongoing, at the root of precipitating “the problem”—a frank recognition of which would have hit altogether too close to the many, many homes living an unadmitted domestic reality only too similar. [I say this without any thought of moralistically “blaming” either of my parents, both of whom I view as outstanding individuals who always attempted to do their best in trying circumstances, like most people.])

In any case, I conveyed all of this information to the doctor in question and he, in turn, wrote in his report-- in bold capital letters --“Mr. Fraser admitted to me that he killed his father”, as if this was some sort of special confession elicited from me at an unguarded moment. He also wrote that I had “attacked” my father. A blatant inversion of the true facts that he was well aware of. And no mention was made of my full acquittal. Plus the rest of the report was filled with factual inaccuracies and outright distortions. But the topper came in court when this doctor described me as “an extremely dangerous man” and “a walking time bomb”. A reporter from the local paper, picking up on this, even ran a story on me under the headline: “Doctor Says Man Is Walking Time Bomb”.

It might have been comforting to write these comments off as just another psychiatrist with paranoid delusions-- and that was my first inclination --but then I got to thinking that the man had actually said something prescient, whether he consciously apprehended its implications or not. For having the capability to release kundalini energy is precisely analogous to being able to detonate an atomic bomb; it’s a secret weapon of mass consciousness destruction/creation, only on a bioenergetic level. Its potential for “reality creation” (/“destruction”) is tremendous. This doctor, I came to realize, had actually paid me a very great compliment: he had sensed the power of my soul-force and intellect, and correctly anticipated that I was capable of toppling the whole rotting edifice of establishment values and practices which he held sacred. Which is, of course, what I am now doing. (One footnote should be added: I am actually no more physically dangerous or prone to violence than the average hockey player who might be reasonably expected to get into an occasional fight, given such a “context” where that’s simply an unavoidable aspect of that particular “game”.)

A significant phase of my incarceration-time was spent, as alluded to above, in solitary confinement, and it merits a few comments. The circumstance came about not through any violence on my part but as a result of a brief verbal dispute I had with a guard (after having spent about 6 months on a regular jail unit at a Pretrial Center). Because of this, I was sentenced to 3 days “in the hole” but found I liked it so much that I asked to stay and the powers-that-were graciously obliged. Whether they realized it or not, they had put me in complete control!

Solitary confinement is a perfect place to get down to serious reality creation. It’s the next best thing to an isolation tank. Being locked in a small cell for 23 hours a day allows one to really focus awareness. There’s a wonderful peace and quiet. And I was not without company. Nietzsche was my constant companion and I thoroughly imbibed his Will to Power [28]. Together with “Europe’s first consummate nihilist” I plumbed the depths of the abyss, revalued all values, and “invented new lies as principles” calling them “truths” out of biological necessity. I also managed to read Bohm-Bawerk’s 3-volume Capital and Interest [29] (the first definitive refutation of Marx’s Capital), among many other works.

From Nietzsche I learned that, if one would stay the course of “the self-overcoming of nihilism” one needs must become a conscious “murderer of God”—which is to say Jehovah. Indeed, I came to see that he had the first explicit “Jehovah Contract” (see further the superb novel by Victor Koman of that title). Further, it became apparent to me that, once you realize you “are in this world but not of it”, you also realize that “the god of this world” often sees you coming and does its best to prevent your emergence. (I call this “the King Herod syndrome”.) The teachings of certain early Gnostic sects that Jehovah was really the “Demiurge” and, in fact, a matriarchal godform split off from the Egyptian father-god (the ORIGIN-al “Source”) took on more meaning. The notion that Jehovah is an avenging bitch-goddess who killed Jesus Christ [30] for the alleged sins of man-kind (for which he is not guilty) gained a certain plausibility. Was it the fact that Paul had been woman-eyes-ed when he was “swept DOWN into ‘the 3^rd heaven’ ” that had caused him, henceforth, to view the wisdom of men with contempt “born again” of fee-male conceit (from that lower realm of false consciousness [Mr. Cohen] where “everybody [only thinks they] knows [everything]”)? Had Moses really been in touch with the “I” in the triangle when he spoke to her “burning bush”? Were prisons really male-energy warehouses where “mean mothers” could get their subliminal “fixes”? These, and other timeless speculations, kept me amused while I was busy transforming the world from my 6 by 10.

In conclusion, I would like to say a word or two about revolutionary strategy. Robert Anton Wilson has identified what he calls “the tar baby syndrome” [31] – i.e., where you get stuck to the object of your hatred. Whether you are opposing the State or Psychiatry, then, it is imperative to do so with the maximum of good humor, to always find some levity in the gravity of the situation. We must realize that our oppressors are sick, misguided, devolved-- and desperately in need of “healing” --but conscious criminals, nevertheless. We must not fall into the trap of being “perpetual victims” no matter how much they need our help. We need to claim our rightful restitution but, ultimately, we must let go of these dependents and not allow them to sabotage any further our potential to grow UP.

Notes

1. See, for instance: Thomas Szasz, The Myth of Mental Illness—Foundations of a Theory of Personal Conduct (New York: Harper & Row, 1961), Schizophrenia—The Sacred Symbol of Psychiatry (New York: Basic Books, 1976), Thomas Szasz—primary values and major contentions (Buffalo, N.Y.: Prometheus Books, 1983), edited by Richard E. Vatz and Lee S. Weinberg; James Mancuso and Theodore Sarbin, Schizophrenia: Medical Diagnosis or Moral Verdict? (New York: Pergamon, 1980); Peter Breggin, Toxic Psychiatry: Why Therapy, Empathy, and Love Must Replace the Drugs, Electroshock, and Biochemical Theories of the ‘New Psychiatry’ (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1991); Seth Farber, Madness, Heresy, and the Rumor of Angels: The Revolt against the Mental Health System (Chicago, Ill.: Open Court, 1993).
2. Paul Davies and John Gribbin, The Matter Myth—Dramatic Discoveries That Challenge Our Understanding of Physical Reality (New York: Simon & Schuster/Touchstone, 1992).
3. Author of the anarchist classic, The Ego and His Own—The Case of the Individual Against Authority (New York: Libertarian Book Club, 1963 [Original German edition, 1845; first English edition published by Benjamin Tucker, 1907]), edited and introduced by James J. Martin)—which famously begins: “All things are nothing to me”; and concludes, similarly: “They say of God, ‘Names name thee not.’ That holds good of me: no concept expresses me, nothing that is designated as my essence exhausts me; they are only names. Likewise they say of God that he is perfect and has no calling to strive after perfection. That too holds good of me alone.
   I am owner of my might, and am so when I know myself as unique. In the unique one the owner himself returns into his creative nothing, of which he is born….” -- pp. 3 & 366.
4. George Berkeley (1685-1753), Irish philosopher of English ancestry and Anglican bishop of Cloyne. A noted historical exponent of immaterialism.
5. Michael Talbot, Mysticism and The New Physics (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1981; revised and updated edition: Arkana/Penguin, 1992).
6. See footnote No. 1. This review was first published in The Colonist, Winter ’93, and subsequently in In A Nutshell, Fall ’96.
7. Alexander Lowen, Bioenergetics (New York: Coward, McCann & Geoghegan, Inc., 1975).
8. Timothy Leary, The Intelligence Agents (Culver City, CA: Peace Press, 1979), p. 142.
9. Shakti Gawain, The Path of Transformation—How Healing Ourselves Can Change the World (San Rafael, CA: New World Library, 1993).
10. See especially: Swami Narayanananda, The Way to Peace, Power and Long Life (Brahmacharya) (Rishikesh, India: Shri Narayana Press, 1945). “Brahmacharya literally means that mode of life which leads to the realization of God. That realization is impossible without practicing self-restraint.” – Gandhi, Key to Health, 1960, p. 42.
11. Henry David Thoreau, Walden, “Higher Laws”, in Walden and Other Writings by Henry David Thoreau (New York, N.Y.: Bantam Books, 1962), pp. 267-68.
12. C.J. Van Vliet, The Coiled Serpent—A Philosophy of Conservation and Transmutation of Reproductive Energy (Ahmedabad, India: Navajivan Press, 1963). See also the shorter companion volume from the same author and publisher: Conquest of the Serpent—A Way to Solve the Sex Problem, 1962.
13. Mahatma Gandhi, Self-restraint v. Self-indulgence (Ahmedabad, India: Navajivan Press, 1958). “Great causes cannot be served by intellectual equipment alone; they call for spiritual effort or soul-force.” – p. 141.
14. Actually, I spent about 9 months in solitary altogether, including the 3 additional months in a psychiatric prison sideroom following directly upon this. All without threatening anyone or doing anything violent, believe it or not! — more about which, presently.
15. “We’re living on the Planet of the Apes. Is that funny or serious?” – R.A. Wilson, The Illuminati Papers (Berkeley, CA: And/ Or Press, 1980), p. 24.
16. Timothy Leary, Changing My Mind, Among Others—Lifetime writings, selected and introduced by the author (Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall, Inc., 1982).
17. Paul Davies, God and the New Physics (London: Penguin, 1984).
18. Deepak Chopra, Quantum Healing—Exploring the Frontiers of Mind/Body Medicine (New York: Bantam Books, 1989).
19. Deepak Chopra, Creating Affluence—Wealth Consciousness in the Field of All Possibilities (San Rafael, CA: New World Library, 1993).
20. Two excellent and in-depth scientific confirmations of this thesis are: The Self-Aware Universe—How Consciousness Creates the Material World (New York: Tarcher/ Putnam, 1993) by Amit Goswami and In The Beginning—The Birth of the Living Universe (London: Penguin, 1993) by John Gribbin.
21. R.M. Bucke, Cosmic Consciousness—A Study in the Evolution of the Human Mind (New York: E. P. Dutton, 1901).
22. Lee Sannella, Kundalini—Psychosis or Transcendence? (San Francisco, CA: H.S. Dakin Co., 1976). Subsequently republished by Integral Publishing (Lower Lake, CA) in 1987.
23. Gopi Krishna, The Awakening of Kundalini (New York: E.P. Dutton, 1975), Kundalini –The Evolutionary Energy in Man (Berkeley, CA: Shambala, 1967), The Dawn of a New Science (New Delhi: Kundalini Research and Publication Trust, 1978).
24. John White, ed., Kundalini, Evolution and Enlightenment (Garden City, N.Y.: Anchor Books, 1979).
25. Mary Scott, Kundalini in the Physical World (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1983).
26. Peter L. Berger and Thomas Luckmann, The Social Construction of Reality—A Treatise in the Sociology of Knowledge (New York: Anchor/Doubleday, 1966).
27. Robert Anton Wilson, Prometheus Rising (Phoenix, AZ: Falcon Press, 1983), Chapter 1: “The Thinker and The Prover”.
28. Friedrich Nietzsche, The Will to Power (New York: Vintage Books, 1968 [First edition: 1901]).
29. Eugen von Bohm-Bawerk, Capital and Interest (South Holland, Ill.: Libertarian Press, 3 vols. 1202 p., 1959[First editions: 1884-1912]).
30. It is nevertheless important here to cleave fast, in our understanding, to the vital truth expressed so succinctly in the formula of French Marxist writer, Roger Garaudy, as: “The Christ of Paul is not Jesus”. (From his book on Christian Fundamentalism: Towards a War of Religion.)
31. Robert Anton Wilson, Cosmic Trigger—Final Secret of the Illuminati (Berkeley, CA: And/ Or Press, 1977).

This article was First published in The Colonist of May, 1994.