The women's shelter activists have devised a nuclear first-strike weapon
in their jihad to stop domestic violence. Insiders call it the TRO --
the "temporary restraining order."
Here's how the ploy works. A woman who feels in the slightest way abused
goes to a judge to request a restraining order (called an Order of
Protection in some states). This is usually done at an "ex-parte"
hearing, meaning the hearing is done in secret and the judge does not
bother to invite testimony from the alleged abuser. The judge seldom
demands any hard evidence to back up the woman's testimony.
Because abuse is defined broadly in most states, the woman's request is
given a rubber-stamp approval.
Ten days later the woman goes back and requests that the temporary
restraining order be made permanent. That decision has a devastating
impact on the family: the father is permanently vacated from his house,
the mother is awarded full custody of the children, and he is ordered to
begin child support payments.
Obviously this Kafkaesque system is ripe for abuse. And that's exactly
what Arlene Soucie of Illinois, proud grandmother of two, recently found
out.
In November 2002 Mrs. Soucie's daughter-in-law decided to leave the
family home, and opted to take along her nine-month-old grandson for
good measure. "With the slow process of the court system, my grandson
was concealed for 3 months. We missed his first Thanksgiving, first
Christmas, first New Years, and his first birthday," Mrs. Soucie sadly
writes.
Finally the father, who works in law enforcement, was granted formal
visitation rights. That's when the nightmare began.
Somehow the mother got irate because dad and grandma wanted to see
junior from time to time. And someone told her that under the Illinois
Domestic Violence Act, causing a woman to feel even "emotional distress"
is considered a form of abuse.
"In October 2003, my son and myself were placed under an Order of
Protection. We did nothing to break the law, we did not harass, stalk,
intimidate, or try to annoy. Our only purpose was to pick up the child
and deliver him back at the appointed time."
Apparently the mother told the judge she found dad and grandma picking
up the child to be "distressing."
"The mother has learned the system and uses it to her advantage,"
laments the disillusioned grandmother.
The abuse of restraining orders has now become widespread.
In Massachusetts, 30,000 restraining orders are issued each year. Half
of those do not involve even an allegation of physical violence.
Elaine Epstein, former president of the Massachusetts Women's Bar
Association, notes that "allegations of abuse are now used for tactical
advantage" in divorce hearings. "Everyone knows that restraining orders
and orders to vacate are granted to virtually all who apply," she
admits.
The June 2005 issue of the Journal of Family Violence features an
analysis of all of the requests for restraining orders that came to the
Massachusetts Gardner District Court in 1997. Author Steve Basile found
that only 10% of requests from women were deferred or turned down. In
contrast, 34% of requests from abused men were deferred or denied - a
three-fold
sex bias.
In Washington state,
attorney
Lisa Scott writes, "Originated to
immediately protect victims of severe abuse, protection orders have
become 'weapons of mass destruction' in family courts.Whenever a woman
claims to be a victim, she is automatically believed. No proof of abuse
is required."
In Colorado, Dr. Charles Corry explains how one judicial district
employs a so-called Fast Track system in which "men are not allowed to
consult a defense attorney before being pressured and cajoled to enter a
guilty plea."
Some judges seem to delight in turning family breadwinners into homeless
vagrants: "Your job is not to become concerned about all the
constitutional rights of the man that you're violating as you grant a
restraining order. Throw him out on the street, give him the clothes on
his back, and tell him, 'See ya around,'" boasts
judge
Richard Russell of New Jersey.
Early next month lawmakers return to Washington from their August
recess. One of their first orders of business will be to take up the
Violence Against Women Act. VAWA is the controversial bill that fuels
the ever-expanding use of restraining orders around the country.
And as they ponder their votes, let's hope our elected officials don't
forget about all the grandmas and grandpas out there who are looking
forward to birthday cake and ice cream with their grandkids this coming
year.
