Every once and a while, a movie comes along that
delivers a message we may not want to hear. However,
it's always a message that we need to hear. A
message, that if we were to truly embrace it, could
change the course of our lives forever.
I had the recent eye/mind opening pleasure of watching
Samuel L. Jackson star in such a message driven movie.
The movie? Coach Carter. Every school needs a Coach
Carter. Someone that refuses to accept failure
because that's just the way it's been for thirty
years. Someone that sees strength in both the
individual and the team. Pride. Respect.
Discipline. There is something to be said about
consistency, promise, and rules with a purpose.
You don't even need to be a basketball fan to be
deeply moved by Coach Carter. All you need is to have
a heart big enough to see that people can change. We
are often told that it's next to impossible to compete
with teenage angst, and you just have to wish for the
best. Let your children find their own way. Be their
friend first, a parent second. Who are you to judge?
It is this kind of (non) thinking that results in high
school students turning into nothing more than adult
children. Survivors of lax parenting, and more often
than not, a close relationship to an antidepressant
drug. When parents and their children openly reject
hard work, pride, respect, and discipline - they are
giving up on life.
Coach Carter would have none of this. He took on a
high school basketball team that went 4-22 the
previous year. He took on a culture at the high
school where only fifty percent of the students even
graduated. He took all this on for a measly
$1,500.00, but of course, it wasn't about the money.
It was about turning boys into men. He made them sign
a contract that went outside the regular "low"
standards that were in place. Coach Carter was
nothing short of being a creative genius, a man of
unwavering principle. A hero.
What I truly enjoyed about this film was Coach
Carter's insistence that his players could and should
earn at least a 2.3 grade point average - a C+. After
all, for the student-athlete, playing basketball is a
privilege, rather than a right. At first, his players
and their parents were furious. Outraged. Once you
got past all their yelling and whining about Coach
Carter having real expectations that had to be met, I
bet if you got inside their little minds you would
hear a little voice cry: ("Why isn't it enough that my
boy just pass?") And you wonder why, again, some
seniors in high schools all accross this country
graduate not as proud men and women, but as lazy adult
children.
A scene that sticks in my mind is when the Richmond
school board actually voted to lift Coach Carter's
gymnasium lockout of his undefeated team for what
else, but largely failing grades and missed classes.
Coach Carter did not waver from his initial message to
his players, and subsequently their parents, that
school work comes before throwing the rock around to
your sweaty team mate. In other words, you have a
duty to sweat first in the library, then you can go
out and sweat on the basketball court. What's wrong
with this message?
Take a look around. Think about how many parents
would rather watch American Idol, than sit with their
own flesh and blood at the kitchen table and "hit the
books." Think about how many parents would rather
have Zoloft babysit their child, than actually get
involved with their school work. Think about how many
parents think it is everyone else's job to parent
their child, but if the expectations and standards are
too rough, than everyone else failed their child.
Now, at the end of Coach Carter, the Richmond Oilers
did not win the big basketball game on the court.
However, they won the ultimate prize in the biggest
game in their lives. They became men. They finally
allowed themselves to feel the feeling that if held on
to year after year, could propel them to college and
beyond. The feeling? Self pride. That pride of
working your hardest as both an individual and a team
player. That incredible pride of knowing within and
without, there was nothing really more you could have
done.
Every school needs a Coach Carter. Every high school
student and parent in this country ought to watch this
movie and discuss it over dinner. If you don't think
so, ask yourself why high school students are given
prescription drugs to "make it" though high school.
Why high school students are too often more afraid of
taking standardized tests than they are of getting in
a car with a drunk buddy. Why county school systems
have to spend more of our tax dollars providing even
more tutoring for high school students so they can have
some chance of passing the dreaded high school
graduation tests.
Pardon the cliche, but as we get older, we are always
grateful for teachers and coaches who did what we at
first hated them for - pushing us. If you as a parent
do not push your children to better themselves when
you can see their impending failure before your eyes,
don't call yourself a parent.
Life is a game. You can't change that. What you can
change is the decision to be a winner or loser. Take
a cue from Coach Carter and set standards for your
child. Make them sign a contract. Make them excel.
Who cares if they won't be your friend.
You're not their friend. You're their parent.
Zizza serves as Vice President for the State of Georgia
for the non-profit organization,
Parents For Label and Drug Free
Education.
