In the wake of the death of feminist pioneer Betty Friedan, many
women's advocates are asserting that the revolution she began is
only half complete: career opportunities have opened up for
women, but these careers are being undermined and sabotaged by
women's disproportionate and unfair household obligations.
Judith Warner, author of Perfect
Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety, recently asserted
that the "gender caste system is still alive and well in most of
our households...The outside world has changed enormously for
women in these past 40 years. But home life? Think about it. Who
routinely unloads the dishwasher, puts away the laundry and
picks up the socks in your house?...The answer, for a great many
families, is the same as it was 50 years ago...[Friedan's]
description of the lives of women in the 1950s sounded just too
much like the lives of women today." As feminist professor Linda
Hirshman recently noted, "The glass ceiling begins at home."
Careers and wage-earning have
certainly increased the demands on women's time—have American
men refused to hold up their end by contributing more at home?
Are American husbands slackers?
Warner, Hirshman, and other
feminist critics compare the work men and women do at home but
fail to properly account for their disparate obligations outside
the home. Census data shows that only 40% of married women with
children under 18 work full-time, and over a quarter do not hold
a job outside the home.
According to the Bureau of Labor
Statistics' 2004 Time Use Survey, men spend one and a half times
as many hours working as women do, and full-time employed men
still work significantly more hours than full-time employed
women.
When both work outside the home and
inside the home are properly considered, it is clear that men do
at least as much as women. A 2002 University of Michigan
Institute for Social Research survey found that women do 11 more
hours of housework a week than men but men work 14 hours a week
more than women. According to the BLS, men's total time at
leisure, sleeping, doing personal care activities, or
socializing is a statistically meaningless 1% higher than
women's. The Families and Work Institute in New York City found
that fathers now provide three-fourths as much child care as
mothers do—50% more than 30 years ago.
Yet even these studies understate
men's contributions because they only count the hours devoted to
a task without measuring the physical strain and/or danger
associated with the task. A man doing eight hours of dangerous
construction work in the 100-degree heat is credited with no
more "work" than a woman who works in an air-conditioned office
or who does childcare or housework in the comfort and safety of
her own home (and without a supervisor breathing down her neck).
According to the Occupational
Safety and Health Administration, more than three million
workers a year are treated in hospital emergency rooms for
occupational injuries—the vast majority of them suffered by
men. Nearly 100,000 American workers have died from job-related
injuries over the past decade and a half, 95% of them men. Of
the 25 most dangerous jobs listed by the U.S. Department of
Labor, all of them are between 90 percent and 100 percent male.
The sacrifices made by men like
Terry Helms, one of the 12 miners killed in the Sago Mine
disaster last month, are unrecorded in the studies. Terry's son
Nick told the Associated Press that his father "had endured
numerous injuries in a 30-year career and hated mining because
of the dangers."
"[My father] is very selfless,"
Nick said. "[He] refused to quit because the job put food on the
table...He gave his life in there so I could go to the movies."
It is true, as Warner and Hirshman
assert, that work outside the home is often more interesting
than work done in the home. Yet it is also true that work done
in the home—particularly time spent with one's children when
they are young—is often more satisfying than wage work.
Feminists' persistent criticism of
men has combined with women's traditional expectations of their
husbands to place men in a double bind. A man may be a devoted
caretaker of his children or a talented cook, but if he is
unable to provide for his family, he is not respected. Yet when
a man works long hours to fulfill the breadwinner role which he
is still expected to perform, he is blamed for not contributing
as much at home as his wife does.
Feminists are right to complain
that with long work weeks, the high cost of child care, scant
union protections, and inflexible workplaces, working women
often face a trying juggling act. But they're wrong to place
the blame on husbands, who do their fair share and often make
great sacrifices to provide for their wives and children.
This article first appeared in the
Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star (3/19/06).
Jeffery M. Leving
is one of America's most prominent family law attorneys.
He is the author of the book Fathers' Rights:
Hard-hitting and Fair Advice for Every Father Involved
in a Custody Dispute. His website is
www.dadsrights.com.
Glenn Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in dozens of
America's largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his website at
www.GlennSacks.com